Love & Letters - But Not Together!
by Wildhorses1492
Summary: Warning: Everybody lives, nobody dies. Kili/Tauriel. Legolas is just a mischievous bestie who enjoys pulling pranks. Everyone OOC. Hilarity ensues when Legolas sends unsigned messages by elven courier to Thorin hinting about Kili/Tauriel. Fili is horrified by his brother's actions when they're discovered, and Thorin rants.
1. The Beginning

Legolas scratched out the words hastily on the parchment, but stiffened in his seat when he heard footsteps. Quickly he began pulling another parchment on top of the one he was currently working on, only this one was addressed to Haldir in Lorien.

"You seem unusually keen on writing that letter, _ion nin_ ," Thranduil remarked, leaning over his son's shoulder. He skimmed the contents of the letter idly, a thoughtful expression upon his face.

"Yes, Ada, I just suddenly felt a need to finish it; I have delayed in a reply long enough." Legolas hastily thought up a plausible answer to his father's words, hoping the Elvenking couldn't hear the erratic beating of his heart with those sometimes annoyingly sharp ears. If Ada was to ever discover what he was writing, Legolas was certain he would die of mortification on the spot, no fading— he'd vanish right there.

Elves, Thranduil had once said, do not meddle in another's affairs; nor did they 'prank' others.

Legolas was doing both.

He watched conspicuously over his shoulder until his father left the room, then pushed the boring missive off the real one to reread it before sending for a courier to deliver it.

Perfect, he decided, nodding his head slightly as he folded and sealed it, careful to make certain he wasn't using one of his father's seals. That would ruin the surprise of this whole thing. And he did not want to be Tauriel's – _or_ _Kili's_ – target practice. Besides that, he didn't think Thorin would take very kindly to these keen observances. Just because he'd saved the Durinson's life a couple of times during the battle didn't mean the King Under the Mountain liked him any better— though there wasn't so much angst anymore, a fact of which Legolas was very grateful.

 **~|:O:|~**

Thorin was supervising the repair of a tunnel that Smaug had long ago collapsed under his great weight. As he stood there, looking rather like an ordinary dwarf than King Under the Mountain in his simple tunic and trousers, a courier, an _elvish_ _courier_ , came up to him, walking briskly. Though things had become more peaceable between elves and dwarves, Thorin still had a bit of trouble warming to them. Though, he had to give this courier credit. He knew it couldn't be easy for him to come down here into the dark and confined space— at least, confined to the elves.

Letter for you, sir," the elf declared, holding out the creamy parchment – parchment that looked like something elves would use, but also something a Man would write upon, too. Perhaps Bard needed something for Dale? Nodding to the courier he took the sealed parchment and dismissed him. Running faster than he had to get to Thorin, the elf left.

Thorin broke the seal on the missive and instantly frowned down at the cryptic message relayed therein.

 _"I can see what's happening,"_

That was all, and it confounded him to no end. He said nothing aloud, not wanting to seem odd to the dwarves working before him on the passage, so he simply pondered it in silence. Who had sent this to him? Was it some sort of threat? Was someone trying to warn him of a coming danger? What was 'happening', exactly? Confusticate it all!

"Uncle, have you seen Ki. . ." Fili broke off, reading over his uncle's shoulder. "What?" he asked, looking up into his uncle's face for some sign as to what the words meant.

Thorin looked back at his oldest nephew and shrugged. Fili's guess was as good as his.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I was Pinterest-surfing a while back, and saw this adorable drawing that used a line from "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" from the Lionking. I just had to go somewhere with it, so this was born. I own nothing, and I wish I knew who had created that drawing; again, it was adorable.**

 **WH**


	2. You See It Yet?

Legolas walked down the slightly darkened hall furtively, hood pulled over his blond hair. He knew his father was around _somewhere,_ and the last thing he'd ever want to do was be caught by the Elvenking and questioned about his doings. Interrogated by his own father— how embarrassing! But Thranduil did that often, regrettably. Something about Legolas and wherever he went Mischief was likely to follow.

Legolas had given up long ago explaining that it had been an accident how he managed to tie himself upside down, in the tree, when Elrond had come for the feast. . . and that he _absolutely hadn't meant_ to use his father's best barrels of Dorwinion wine as targets for archery practice. Not that it mattered, his father didn't believe him, and Tauriel wasn't there to get him out of trouble; she'd been off somewhere with that _dwarf_.

Which all led back to what he was doing now.

He was simply paying back the absence of her presence when he had needed it most. At any rate, she should be grateful he was doing it this way instead of using her beloved twin daggers to do something like carve or whittle – not that he did that, ever – just, it sometimes was a way to relieve pressure. . .

He casually slid the message into the courier's hand.

" _Kara tanka_ _si wanya mammen faare_."

The courier nodded and moved away from the wall, heading toward the gate. Legolas grinned slightly, forcing himself to keep from laughing or chuckling at how diabolically perfect his plan was coming out to be. He couldn't have worked everything out better!

"And we're no longer having any more difficulty eliminating the spiders from the western sector, then?"

"No, my Lord."

Legolas stiffened and quickly did a silent about-face when he heard his father's voice. He didn't even bother trying to see if Thranduil would notice him or if he could hide there until he left. He didn't want to run the risk of interrogation; he did not like being under his father's gaze— something about the blue eyes compelled him to tell the truth. Besides, he squirmed if he omitted things from his confession. Lying was not one of his strong suits.

 **~|:O:|~**

Thorin rested his hand on the stone pillar, trying to relax before returning to the tedious and time-consuming task that was being King. He glanced about, wondering where Kili had gone off to. He'd been here just a moment ago. . . Thorin shrugged it off and leaned back against the pillar, closing his eyes for a moment to unwind and just relax. . .

"Urgent letter for you, Sire!"

Thorin jumped, his eyes opening quickly. What was it _now_? Not Dain wanting to come for an extended stay again, he hoped. Though he did think of his cousin fondly, the Dwarven lord always brought such a large company with him and they ate nearly as much as Bombur. He eyed the sealed parchment waving in his face with distaste, noting that instead of an elven courier, one of his dwarves held it. At least that was a change from the last bizarre message.

"What is it, Noran?" he asked tiredly.

"An elf handed this to me, saying I was to bring it to you specifically and no one else," the dwarf replied, thrusting the note in Thorin's face again. Maybe not so bizarre; again it had been delivered by an elf.

"Thank you." Thorin sighed, reaching for the note to get it out of his face. Quickly Noran walked off, probably in search of something to do; there was still quite a bit of restoration to be done in Erebor before it was truly fit for dwarves like his sister. Though he knew Dis would most likely be ordering everyone around, including him, and making the halls beautiful once again, he was slightly loathe to bring her home just yet. Sisters and all; they could be so frustrating. . .

"Say, Uncle, I noticed there was an elf at the gate, nothing wrong I— Another letter?" Fili came up to his uncle's side, leaning over one of Thorin's arms to get a good look at the paper.

 _"And none of you have a clue!"_

"Who?" Fili frowned and turned his head to look at Thorin.

"This mystifies me," he admitted, shrugging slightly. Fili frowned as well, nodding in agreement. Where was Kili when they needed him? He was good at riddles. Like the elves.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Okay, what do ya think? I really am enjoying this, if I might say so myself.**

 **Translation:**

" _Kara tanka_ _si wanya mammen faare_."

"Make sure this goes where wanted/needed."

 **I do not claim to be good at elvish; I bet this sucked royally. All belongs to Tolkien, PJ, and the unknown artist of the darling picture; except for Noran, he is** _ **my**_ **dwarf** — **I'm** _ **serious,**_ **stop staring at me so weirdly, I might have Thranduil question you!** **Thanks to everyone who pointed out the misspelling; in my defense, it was a late night last night and I forgot to make sure my words were correct, sorry. And thanks to everyone who reviewed, faved and followed, it means a lot; considering I never expected to get that sort of response.**

 **Anywhoo, tell me what ya think,**

 **WH**


	3. Right In Front Of You

Legolas grinned broadly as he wrote. Wouldn't it be perfect if Thorin said these aloud? Glancing about quickly when he laughed, he set down his quill, folded the letter, and moved to find his trustworthy courier. This was going along far better than he planned! Sliding the note into the courier's hand, he leaned casually against the wall to think about his handiwork, watching the ellon disappear down the cavern paths.

As he stood there, having a personal gloating moment, his father came around the corner with Tauriel in tow. Masking the shock and surprise – Tauriel could tell if he hid anything, and it wouldn't do for her to announce that in front of his father – he got ready to face them. Thranduil nodded to his son before looking about the room.

"I don't know where my courier has gone off to these passed days. Whenever I have need to send something, I cannot find Galadan," Thranduil remarked casually, staring at the gate with thoughtful eyes.

"Where are you sending the letter, Ada?" Legolas finally spoke up. The least he could do for his father was deliver the letter since he was stealing the courier.

"I wanted to ask Thorin if he would consider his dwarves fashioning a gold piece for me. But as I cannot find my courier, I shall have to wait to ask him. Perhaps when next I go to Dale," Thranduil replied, frowning slightly as he pondered all possible places Galadan could have disappeared to.

"I could deliver the message, my Lord," Tauriel spoke up, running over Legolas's slightly weak suggestion of going himself. Once he'd heard the words 'Thorin' and 'gold' he knew Tauriel would jump at the chance to see Kili. His offer was dead in the water even before he'd uttered the words.

"That is considerate of you, Captain, but I could not inconvenience you," Thranduil objected.

"It is no inconvenience, I assure you, my Lord," Tauriel replied quickly. With almost so much eagerness that it put something of a dampner on Legolas' earlier high spirits.

"Are you certain?" Thranduil was slightly unsure, something Legolas wanted to gape at. Why couldn't Ada ever do this with _him_? Was he just his _son_ , therefore he didn't merit such consideration? Yet another reason Tauriel deserved everything she was getting. Now he was glad he hadn't offered his help! Thranduil frowned over Tauriel's shoulder when he saw his son narrow his eyes at the Captain's back, but thought nothing of it— Legolas and Tauriel frequently bickered and or had friendly quarrels, he needn't become involved.

"Yes, my Lord, quite certain," Tauriel answered, holding out her hand for the sealed notes in Thranduil's.

"Very well; _Diola lle_ , Tauriel," Thranduil said, watching after her for a moment before turning and going back the way he had come.

"Tauriel, could I come with you?" Legolas didn't really want to go, but he asked the question anyway. He didn't do much with Tauriel anymore; he sort of missed spending time with his friend, they were after all the closest in age in the Realm.

"I don't think you'll want to go, Legolas; besides, you always complain about the dwarves." Tauriel smiled at him, not meaning anything cruel or mocking by her words, merely attempting the playfulness they'd always shared between one another. Lately it seemed as if it were lacking, and she missed it. Legolas was always being so secretive. She though he might be in love with someone his father didn't approve.

Legolas just watched her go, offended. He did not complain about the dwarves! Only about that no-good Kili who was stealing his friend. Curse that filthy, short – _not a bad archer, you have to admit_ – dwarf coming between his friendship! Back to the parchments he decided, turning and walking away rapidly. Good plans had to have the ample preparation that went along with them.

 **~|:O:|~**

Thorin was walking with Fili and Kili along the stone rampart when the trumpet warning of someone's approaching rang out. Walking over to see who it was, Kili chose that moment to depart his brother and uncle.

"Another blasted elf," Thorin growled under his breath.

"Have you ever asked the elves who sent them?" Fili queried, looking over at Thorin with a raised eyebrow.

"No, but I know they won't tell me."

"Oh, that makes sense— They're not the most talkative lot when it comes to us, are they?" Fili mused thoughtfully, watching the elf handover to a dwarven guard a letter and then turn and sprint off.

"Do you think it's another of those cryptic messages?" Fili wondered aloud.

"Mahal forbid," Thorin muttered.

"Well, Kili's with us this time, perhaps he can help," Fili suggested. Thorin only nodded distractedly, trying to piece together in his head all the possible reasons for these letters. "Kili, we've been— Kili, _Kili?"_ Fili glanced around, but his brother was nowhere to be seen.

"Uncle, he's gone again."

"I would have guessed as much. He does seem to disappear often, I've noticed," Thorin replied, glancing behind him momentarily before straightening as a dwarf came up to them.

"I believe you have a letter. It's for me, and it's urgent— correct?" Thorin asked the dwarf, raising an eyebrow as he held out his hand expectantly.

"Yes, Sire," the dwarf answered, seeming slightly befuddled by the annoyed, resigned sound in his king's tone. Nevertheless, he handed over the parchment. Not bothering to open it carefully anymore, Thorin ripped the seal and unfolded it rather roughly.

 _"They'll fall in love, and here's the bottom line:  
our trio's down to two."_

Thorin read the words a second time aloud, hoping he might discover something new or unrealized than before when he got nothing from the words. Fili turned and looked at him oddly.

"What _are_ you going on about?"

I'm reading the words out loud," Thorin growled.

"Oh." Fili seemed a bit miffed. Wasn't he trying to help? But besides that, where was Kili? They used to do next to everything together, but now he was nowhere to be found; he'd been acting a bit secretive of late as well.

"Uncle, perhaps we should follow Kili and discover where he goes off to. . ."


	4. Four Weeks

Legolas scratched bold lines over what he had written. It didn't fit properly. It had to be _perfect._

"What are you doing, _ion nin_?"

Legolas froze. _Four_ _weeks_ of secret notes and now he was finally cornered. He whirled around. "Nothing, Ada! Nothing. . . _dangerous_ or any of what you think I'm always doing all of the time," he replied quickly, making a dismissive motion.

Thranduil merely held out his hand, looking at his son pointedly. Legolas stared at his father's outstretched hand, grimacing just a bit.

"Legolas, the paper," Thranduil demanded calmly, nodding in his son's direction. He'd known something had been going on, and now he felt he might just _finally_ get to the bottom of it. Legolas stalled and tried to convince his father, but Thranduil was not going to take excuses for an answer; at last Legolas pulled the parchment from behind him and handed it over.

Thranduil read it, which was a compilation of all Legolas's notes on his subject and the words he'd been writing over the past weeks. His eyebrows rose as he continued reading. ' _Not a good sign'_ Legolas thought with a barely concealed moan of discomfort.

"You've been stealing my courier because you're writing these letters of a cryptic manner to King Thorin and Prince Fili?" Thranduil looked up from the parchment to gazr unflinching at his son.

Legolas lightly scuffed his boot across the floor beneath his chair. "Yes."

"And you didn't bother to tell me?" Thranduil stared intently.

"No, sorry, Ada," Legolas replied, his voice a little above a whisper— This was pure mortification, couldn't he just die? Sweet Valar have pity on him and take him now.

"Do you even know if this is true? Have you watched them; observed them secretly. . . _ever?"_

"No, it's just a fairly good guess as to why Tauriel is always so eager to go to Erebor," Legolas answered, daring to meet his father's icy gaze. He ducked his head again, but when he realized his father didn't look disapproving, he looked. . . interested, he glanced back up.

"Legolas, you can't properly do something like this without the necessary field research. Have I taught you _nothing_?" Legolas stared at his father in disbelief. He couldn't be serious, could he?

"What do you propose I do?" he asked. If his father was trying to lead him on, he could follow along in the game. Bizarre as it was.

"I can't trust you to do this properly, I'll have to aid you— you're skills are admirable, yet also regrettably lax. Thorin and Fili have no idea what you're writing about, and you have no idea _yourself_ what you're writing about. Go gather some proof and then come back. We'll plot the next course of action via cryptic messages when you return," Thranduil concluded.

Legolas stared after his father's retreating figure; was Ada really _helping_ _him_? He suggested ideas Legolas himself hadn't ever thought of before, perhaps he should have brought Ada into confidence long before this and maybe he could have made his other letters even better. Oh, well, best just go do what Ada suggested to be certain if his theory was even correct; which he knew it was.

 **~|:O:|~**

Legolas paced, fuming. He'd been trying to follow Tauriel for three days. _Three days_! Every time he'd tried to follow her, she evaded him. She probably didn't even know she was doing it, which was worse! He tried to be secretive about it, but she still vanished! While he was mumbling to himself about stealth and the fact that it was a curse to elves when he needed it and yet didn't, Thranduil entered the room.

"And how goes the surveillance? Anything valuable or proving your theory?" Thranduil asked nonchalantly, pouring himself a glass of Dorwinion wine. His father's favorite wine seemed to be everywhere, Legolas mused, momentarily pausing in his train of thought. If only _he_ could have his favorite mead everywhere like that. . .

"Actually, every time I try to follow her, she vanishes!" Legolas threw up his hands in exasperation.

"Again, you can't do something simple. Very well, I'll help you with this, too." Thranduil sighed, wondering just how incompetent his son was at this sort of thing. Well, perhaps it was better he took after his mother in this area. . . maybe.

 **~|:O:|~**

"Get back!" Thranduil jerked Legolas behind the tree again; his son was far too overeager. Like his mother had been. Impatient and overeager. It was small wonder Legolas had managed to lose Tauriel every time he'd followed her.

"But we'll lose her!" Legolas hissed in return.

Thranduil closed his eyes, tilting his face heavenward. Why was he going on about this project of stalking his Captain again? Oh, yes. Because it would be something wonderful to hold over Thorin's head when next they met at a public gathering; not that he couldn't hold lots of things over Thorin Oakenshield's head, but something of this size was so much more amusing. Pity the number one wrinkle in his going-to-be-perfectly-executed-plan was his son, who had started the whole thing in the first place.

" _Now_ we follow," Thranduil declared momentarily, after composing himself.

Legolas nearly leapt out from behind the tree trunk, but Thranduil pulled him back by his sleeve— sharply. "If you cannot do this quietly and with much less enthusiasm – pretend we're hunting Orcs – then I shall order you, as your king, to remain here while I go on alone. Is that clear, _ion nin_?"

"Yes, Ada," Legolas replied quickly, leaning out around the tree; hoping to catch a glimpse of Tauriel. Thranduil looked at him with exasperation for a moment before walking passed him.

This occurred a few more times on their way to Erebor – luckily for the Elves it did not take long with their tireless sprint to reach the mountain – and Thranduil had to threaten his son several more times with banishment from the mission before Legolas finally grew quiet and less impatient.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Sorry this is a little short, but I didn't want the chapters to be too long. I don't know how Thranduil came into this all ready to offer his help, he just sort of did, and then refused to leave! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it,**

 **WH**


	5. Um, Well, You See

Tauriel and Kili met in a clearing between some trees not far from Dale. Thranduil and Legolas were behind a large outcropping of rocks, boulders, scrub bushes, and flowering vines looking down at them. Kili had been pacing the clearing, absently holding a flower he'd pulled from a vine growing over the side of the boulders, and when Tauriel had come up to him, he rather distractedly gave it to her. She had smiled and thanked him for it, tucking it into her belt, before settling down on a small, flat boulder.

Then, instead of any romancing – which was what Legolas had been hoping for – they began talking. Talking. Legolas let out an exasperated breath, earning an "oh, shut up and stop fiddling" glare from his father. Thranduil seemed to be enjoying this. Which confounded Legolas; he'd always thought his father would be the angriest one out of Thorin and Fili when this came to light.

"What are you doing here?" Legolas and Thranduil jumped and turned their heads sharply when the very low whisper came from their left. Thorin and Fili stared at them, baffled expressions on their faces.

"She's my _Captain_ of the _guard_ ," Thranduil answered defensively, in a whisper the dwarves hardly heard, making them come closer and crouch beside the elves. He said the words as if they explained everything and gave him clearance to do what he pleased and go where he wished.

"And he's my _nephew_ — discard for the moment that he's also a _Prince of Erebor_!" Thorin hissed in an undertone.

Fili moved to lie on his stomach beside Legolas to watch his brother and Tauriel. "Why, brother? Why are you doing this to me?" he lamented in a whisper. Legolas turned his head to look down and back at the Crown Prince.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to hear what they're telling each other," he rebuked the dwarf. After a few more seconds of whisper-moaning about his failed responsibility as an older brother, Fili watched them too.

Meanwhile, Thranduil and Thorin were in a whispering match arguing about the situation; Thranduil defending his position and saying it wasn't Tauriel's fault the dwarf had fallen in love with her, and Thorin going on and on about how elves were mesmerizing with their beauty— how could his nephew have hoped to avoid a misguided infatuation?

 **"Shh!"** Fili and Legolas demanded, turning to them when Thranduil and Thorin's whispering argument-conference started to cover over what Kili and Tauriel were saying.

Thranduil looked at Thorin, shrugged, and moved to lie next to his son and Fili, watching the scene play out before them. Thorin stared at them incredulously for several long and silent minutes before coming up next to them and joining in from sheer curiosity. Legolas stopped holding the bushes out of his view, suddenly realizing that his friendship – as it had been – was pretty much over with Tauriel if she _did_ want to be with the dwarf.

"I can see what's happening," he muttered, his words finally hitting home in his own mind. Fili turned to stare at him incredulously, the light dawning that _he_ had been the one to send the cryptic letters.

"And they don't have a clue!" Legolas motioned slightly in the direction of Kili and Tauriel on the other side of the bushes. Fili nodded glumly, agreeing with Legolas' words— for once realizing they were on the same terms about something.

"They'll fall in love, and here's the bottom line— all of our trios are down to two."

No more Thranduil, Legolas, and Tauriel. No more Thorin, Fili, and Kili. Legolas glanced back over at the two romantics, and a new line came to mind. "The sweet caress of twilight," he noted, watching dusk set in, "there's magic everywhere, and with all this romantic atmosphere, disaster's in the air!"

He glanced down with not-so-hidden disgust at the flowering vines and soft green grass in the clearing below; fireflies starting to hover between the trees. Fili came and sat next to him, watching his brother glumly.

"And if he falls in love tonight," Fili muttered, closing his eyes as if trying to erase the thought.

"It can be assumed."

Fili stared at Legolas, horrified as the thought dawned upon him.

"His carefree days with us are history." Legolas nodded, speaking the unspoken and sighing.

"In short," Fili began.

"Our pals, are—" Legolas couldn't remember where he'd heard that word, but it suddenly seemed to _really_ fit the moment.

"Doomed," Thranduil and Thorin finished, each realizing something else _not_ enjoyable about this entire endeavor as well. Thranduil was going to lose his Captain of the guard and Thorin was going to have to finally accept an elf. Into his family, no less! The two rulers glanced at one another. They'd have to accept _each other_ — forget about Kili and Tauriel!

Legolas leaned back in dejection, lost his balance, and fell wildly.

Into the clearing.

With Tauriel and Kili.

When he opened his eyes slowly, they were staring down at him. Kili in mystification and slight annoyance, Tauriel with a look that meant only his title and his father prevented her from using him as target practice. Thranduil, Thorin, and Fili were peering over the edge of the boulders above their heads, looking taken aback and extremely shocked. As the two dwarves and one elf tried to slip backwards to remain unnoticed, Thorin's hand knocked a small stone off the boulder, earning him a glare from Thranduil when it hit Kili's back.

When the Prince and the Captain looked up, the two monarchs and the dwarf-prince could only look at them and smile sheepishly, except for Thranduil and Thorin it was more an "I'm-so-sorry-for-intruding-upon-a-private-moment-it-was-an-accident-and-we'll-be-leaving-now" look.

"My Lord, Legolas, Fili, King Thorin, what are you doing here?" Tauriel looked up at those still above her, brow furrowed in confusion and concentration.

"Yes. Uncle, brother, King Thranduil – why in Middle-earth are you _spying_ on us?" Kili just continued to stare at them, dumbfounded.

"Spying? Who's— why would you—" Thranduil seemed unable to form a coherent sentence, and Fili shrugged as if in agreement.

"We weren't spying! Why, it's not possible. . ." Fili blustered before trailing off, Thorin beside him muttering some gibberish as well.

"We were just walking, enjoying the restoration of Dale, and—"

"Umm. . . It's my fault, _actually. . ._ " Legolas trailed off when Tauriel and Kili looked back down at him. Why had he even opened his mouth? Thranduil looked at him above Tauriel's head with an expression that clearly said "when we get home, we shall talk, and I'm not ever – _ever_ – going to let you go anywhere or do anything _ever_ _again_ without my permission."

He was doomed to spend his entire life in Mirkwood chasing spiders and practicing with his bow.

 _Doomed._

"How can you _possibly_ have anything to do with your father and the others being here?" Tauriel asked threateningly. Kili only looked from her to Legolas on the ground with utter disbelief. Legolas stopped holding his head up and relaxed with a sigh of resignment.

"I wanted to get back at you for not being there when I needed you," he answered, closing his eyes and covering his face with his hands; hoping to not have to look into Tauriel's judging eyes any longer.

"I can't believe this! But . . . how did you get dragged into this, my Lord? Did you come across him and try to stop his childish actions?" Tauriel asked, looking up. Legolas winced at her feet. She was way too trusting of his father— _way too trusting_.

"Tauriel, Captain. . . I— how can I say this?" Thranduil paused for a moment, straightening before climbing to the ground, Thorin and Fili not far behind him; all trying to regain a sense of royal dignity already long unregainable.

"Without. Embellishment." Kili replied, looking pointedly at the three people, also ignoring Legolas on the ground. The elf just stared up at them, trying to think about how he might possibly escape before the fighting and kicking and possible hair pulling started— from the look on Thorin's face right now you never knew what he was capable of!

"I . . . learned of Legolas' meddling in your . . . infatuation. . ." Kili glared at Thranduil when he paused, and Tauriel crossed her arms and began tapping her foot lightly, not liking the use of that word. "And I . . . joined him." Thranduil had the good decency to look embarrassed. For the first time in his six thousand-odd years, no doubt.

"But you're a king, _a king_!" Kili shouted. "And I suppose when you heard, you two decided to join in on the spy ring as well, correct? Nothing like a good bet on how long it would take Kili to lose a girl!" He turned to his brother and uncle angrily.

"A dwarf should not love an _elf_ , it's not right! Have I taught you _nothing_ — has my influence meant _nothing_ on your life?!" Thorin shouted in return, glaring moodily. But he forgot to deny joining Legolas and Thranduil.

"You say "elf" like there's something _wrong_ with us!" Thranduil interjected, glaring at Thorin, too.

"The only thing you've taught me is how to lead properly and how to _not act_ around other races! Don't you think treating the elves with a little more kindness might be of help someday, Uncle? Or do you just _not think_ _at_ _all_?" Kili asked sharply, running over Thranduil's objection.

"You have a point, Prince; sometimes I wonder as to his intelligence myself. But before we go on to that subject, I want to know if 'King' Thorin thinks elves are mere mistakes," Thranduil broke in, nodding to Kili before looking back at Thorin.

Everyone stared at everyone else, tension heavy on the air.

"Kindness is one thing, but love is entirely different!" Thorin shouted, going into a tirade of why elves and dwarves were diverse and should not mingle.

"Oh, _really_? I should have just left you to the Orcs that day; it would have been much wiser than dealing with this now!" Thranduil shouted, glaring at Thorin.

"But that's not even the _subject_ ; I thought we were talking about you following us!" Kili broke in.

"Yes, why in the name of Valar were you all spying? Each of you must have a personal reason," Tauriel remarked observantly.

Everyone abruptly began shouting at once. Thorin about how he was only looking out for the welfare of his nephew and Thranduil about how it made no sense that he would have any motive behind his actions. Did he _ever_ have a motive behind his actions? The resounding 'yes' only seemed to infuriate everyone more, because no one knew exactly what it was complying with, or whom.

"I think they've forgotten you," Fili remarked softly to Legolas. In the midst of the arguing, he had come to kneel next to the elf prince.

"I think you're right." Legolas nodded slowly. "You now," he propped himself up slightly on one elbow and looked at Fili thoughtfully. "I do believe we're bonding over the bizarrety of our families and friends."

"I never thought I'd agree with you, but I _do_ feel like we're somehow on the same side and lost in the middle of this, though you're the one who started it all," Fili said in a hushed tone, glancing up at the once again arguing elves and dwarves.

"I realize that while Ada likes to be isolated, he also likes to meddle— I think I get that from his side," Legolas observed, turning from looking at Fili to stare up at his father.

"Though Captain Tauriel is an elf, she and my brother are rather suited for one another; he _is_ the only dwarf archer around," Fili remarked thoughtfully.

"And I suppose the life-saving thing does come in handy; she saves him, he saves her. You know, they're about even tempered— they would have great kids," Legolas mused aloud, looking from one to the other above him.

"That _is_ a thought. Uncle Thorin isn't so much of a warrior around children; he isn't even very moody, do you think kids would help?" Fili looked at Legolas.

"You never can tell; it might even help Ada. Possibly he and Thorin could get along with one another for the sake of some kids," Legolas replied under his breath, careful to keep the people standing above him from hearing.

"That would be very strange; the King of Mirkwood coming to Erebor, don't you think?"

"Why would _I_ ever come to Erebor of my own free will?" Legolas and Fili looked up. Thranduil stared down at them suspiciously, arms crossed.

"No reason, Ada." Legolas smiled dismissively, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly— quite a feat when lying on the ground.

"We were just talking about the situation," Fili added hurriedly.

"Of course you were." Thorin scowled.

 _"Ion nin_ , why would I _possibly_ think of coming to _Erebor_ of my own free will; without being bound and gagged?" Thranduil looked furious.

"And what is wrong with Erebor? I suppose it is not _decorative_ enough for your tastes?" Thorin roared, glaring at the Elvenking.

"Well, I do believe it is no place for an elf; let alone my Captain of the guard!" Thranduil retorted.

"Just as Mirkwood is no place for a son of Durin! Filled with elves and lies about dwarves!"

"Where— where _are_ Tauriel and Kili?" Legolas and Fili looked around, noticing that the subjects of the heated discussion were now no longer standing in the clearing. Thranduil and Thorin glanced at one another, realizing they had been so intent upon arguing with one another that they had forgotten the situation.

"Perhaps you're not so good at this following-and-spying thing either, Ada."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **To all who asked, I give you Kili and Tauriel! (But was it enough, I wonder?)**

 **We might as well forget what I said in my previous note about shortness of length of chapters, because apparently this chapter wanted to be e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y long. I just kept writing and writing, but when I realized it was so long, I tried to go back and find a stopping point, but their was none. The dialogue fit pretty seamlessly and all that I didn't want to interrupt it, you know?**

 **Ah, well, whatever; I hope this oddity pleases everyone, if I'm correct, there should be one more chapter before this is finished. Next chapter should have more Tauriel/Kili!**

 **Please tell me what you think; R &R, you know, good for the writer's soul (her muse too),**

 **WH**


	6. Voluntary Visit to Dwarven Halls

Legolas hadn't really bothered to count the years that had passed since he'd written sappy poetry to Thorin and Fili, and the time his father had caught him writing and decided to "help" him with his scheme, only furthering his meddlesome behavior and resulting in a catastrophic spy mission ending with him on his back watching several people fight – namely his father and Thorin – over Kili and Tauriel's relationship, which was actually an argument that ended up being about how much better the one was over the other.

But he did know that in spite of his and Ada's meddling, Tauriel and Kili stayed in love and had only grown closer over the annoying – Tauriel's words, not Legolas's – personalities of their close friends and relations. It had all ended well, Legolas mused, smiling thoughtfully and resting his chin on his hand. At least there had been no wars declared or anything. The elf looked back down at the parchment he was writing; something Tauriel had asked him to write, surprisingly. He was just about to resume his task, when Thranduil dashed into the room.

"Legolas, we are going to Erebor, now!" The Elvenking rushed over to a table which was, as always – Legolas rolled his eyes; why couldn't a table in this place ever have something on it _he_ liked? – bearing a wineglass and a bottle of his father's favorite wine. Thranduil filled the glass to the top and drank slowly, as if trying to relax.

"Eru, give me strength," he mumbled, resting his free hand on the top of a desk beside him and leaning his weight on it as if he was exhausted.

"And this requires wine because. . . ?" Legolas had changed the past few years, he wasn't so afraid to broach questions to his father anymore. . . but he was still hesitant of asking him to do anything other than ride to Dale; he just barely escaped being grounded for eternity within the boundaries of Mirkwood.

"Can I not drink a glass of wine when I desire it? Or does everything I do have to have a double meaning?" Thranduil straightened and tried to regain an indifferent look.

"Noooo. . ." Legolas drew out the word, glancing at his father curiously. He always acted this way when faced with the prospect of being too close to Thorin for an extended period of time.

"Tauriel has sent for us to attend a celebration at Erebor, and we _will be_ going," Thranduil declared quickly.

"But you always—"

"It's for the twins, which means we must attend; etiquette and all that," Thranduil interrupted dismissively, as if his public image was only what he was doing this for.

"Of course, Ada." Legolas watched his father go, waited until he was quite certain he was out of hearing range, and ceased containing his laughter. He turned back to the parchment he was writing. Tauriel would most certainly want him to place _this_ little episode in the book.

 **~|:O:|~**

Legolas glanced at his father as they entered Erebor. He was quite certain he hadn't seen the slightly-amused-because-he-was-trying-to-contain-excitement expression on Thranduil's face since the twins were born. As they walked down the mountain halls, Legolas kept glancing at his father, wondering if he even thought about how he had sworn to Thorin that he would never, under _any_ circumstances, enter Erebor of his own free will. He grinned mischievously; Ori, Bofur, and Dwalin were going to lose the bet he and Fili had placed upon this subject.

In fact, they were losing more money every second Thranduil walked deeper into Erebor.

When the twins had been born, Thranduil had thrown a huge feast, and everyone had enjoyed the lavish display except Legolas, who was too busy sending money to Ori, Bofur, Fili, and Dwalin because he had lost a previous bet made not long after Tauriel admitted she was expecting. Why did she have to have twins, again? That and the fact that his father had insisted he needed a new wardrobe. How does one tell their parent they don't like glittery clothes? Legolas did _not_ want to think what the results of that conversation might be. . .

He shuddered, before smiling a bit when Tauriel, Kili, Fili, and the twins came into view. In fact, there were quite a few Dwarves and Men here. During the festivities Legolas nodded to Bard and Bain, who was becoming very much like his father, if Legolas's thoughts counted as anything. Thorin and Thranduil nodded to one another, but didn't speak; they drifted apart and generally acted as if the other did not exist.

Legolas joined in the mischief with the twins— who Thranduil and Thorin would argue over subtly, saying things like "they look like their mother" or "they look like their father." Legolas believed they looked a great deal like both parents, and refused to be dragged into the conversations regarding looks. He whispered into the twins' ears about pranks and other useful things to do to both Tauriel and Kili until he noticed Tauriel watching him with narrowed eyes.

He smiled at her, straightened, and casually patted Eleniel and Turin on their heads and stepped back from them. Tauriel beamed brightly after he did this and turned back to her conversation with another Silvan elf who had accompanied Legolas and his father from Mirkwood. Legolas frowned at Tauriel's back whenever she wasn't looking. Why did she have to go and live in Erebor? Now there was no one in Mirkwood to tell his brilliant plans to! And he had _a lot_ of brilliant plans. Like the one— no, best not think about that. . . or the— he frowned with a shudder, best not go _there_ either. . .

It took him a while, but eventually he reached Fili.

"Have you seen them?" he asked nonchalantly.

"No, I've been waiting here the better part of an hour. They should just get this over with, no use being further embarrassed by us having to search them out in this crowd." Fili resumed scanning the seeming sea of dwarves, with the occasional elvish figure towering over it.

"Oh, I see them coming," Legolas declared after several minutes of scanning the hall. Ada was right; this place needed some _serious_ remodeling. Maybe some more light or a coat of whitewash for the walls; it definitely needed something to brighten the dark gloominess of it. Oh, yes, draperies and bright rugs! Legolas mentally mapped out a new Brilliant Plan for 'Redecoration of Erebor' to be carried out later in the month.

"Of course you would see them. . . You're taller than a lamppost and about as useless. . ." Fili mumbled.

"What was that?" Legolas looked down at the blond dwarf.

"Nothing, just commenting on how helpful your height is," Fili answered hastily as the small group of three dwarfs stepped from the throng.

"Should have reasoned you would be late, you always liked dramatic or reluctant entrances," Legolas spoke up when Dwalin, Ori, and Bofur arrived. The dwarves glowered at him and then began reluctantly handing over the money for the lost bet. Thranduil had come further into Erebor than they'd ever imagined he would. Legolas and Fili briefly counted the money, before smiling brightly at the dwarves and telling them to go on about the party— and have fun!

"I do _so_ enjoy wining," Fili declared as they walked through the hall together.

"Mhmm," Legolas answered distractedly.

"What are you looking at?" Fili glanced around. It took him a moment to see the elleth Legolas was watching. No, staring at with utter fascination. Fili watched the dark haired evlish figure for a moment, admitting that she must certainly be quite pretty by elven standards.

"I never noticed how nice Carwyn looked before. I never paid attention to her at all, really. Please excuse me, Fili, but I think I just might go talk to her." Legolas absently patted Fili on the shoulder – which he hated – and walked off.

"I do think some interest in this should be taken; it would make for a _fascinating_ prank." Thranduil held out his hand. Fili grinned a bit and tossed him one of the bags of coin he'd won from Bofur.

"Quite," he agreed. As Thranduil walked away, Thorin sidled up to Fili.

"What did _he_ want?"

"To do what you said he would."

"I win."

"Of course you do, Uncle." Fili promptly handed over another bag.

"Don't forget to keep me informed," Thorin added, walking off.

"Of course not," Fili answered, frowning slightly, thinking of all the money he'd just lost. At least the lucky bet on Thranduil had paid more than he bargained for. He looked up when Legolas laughed. The elf had no idea what he'd started.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I don't know what happened to the end there. . . The bet thing went off on a course entirely on its own. But the gist of it is that Fili and Legolas bet Thranduil would come further into Erebor than he'd ever been, while Ori, Dwalin and Bofur bet otherwise.**

 **The further into Erebor Thranduil went, the more money Legolas and Fili won. Fili in turn made a secret bet with Thranduil that Legolas would act on his feelings for this elleth Carwyn (I really should have gone into her more, but generally she's an elf in Legolas's unit); time and place were not specified.** **If he did, Fili agreed to help Thranduil prank him as payment in addition to giving him a small amount of money. Thorin bet that Thranduil would win, and when he did, instantly suggest that Fili and he keep an eye on Legolas.** **He [Thorin] won, resulting in Fili having to give** _ **another**_ **small amount of money away and keep Thorin informed on what was going to happen down the line.**

 **If this ending isn't what everyone wanted, I can write an alternate ending, K? All you guys gotta do is ask. I own nothing but all the mistakes** — **and maybe the twins! ;)**

 **WH**


End file.
